My Life As A Screenwriter: Month 10 Day 16

FADE IN:

INT. BATHROOM CABINET - DAY
A plumber's wrench CLANGS against a wet pipe through a smashed hole in the rear wall.

PLUMBER (O.S.)
This is the source of the leak you've had in the kitchen for a week, Mister Gordon.  The slow trickle was pooling inside the wall here and coming out the baseboard on the other side.

TODD (O.S.)
Besides waiting for this guy to make repairs, I have been changing up my rock and roll serial killer script a bit.  Making it more of a revenge type thriller film than just a generic teen slasher pic.  I made my Hero have a deep motivation that we can follow along, versus just observing her reacting to stuff...
(sticks head under cabinet)
... it's going to involve some research about assault victims and the like, but who doesn't enjoy a library field trip?

INT. BATHROOM
Todd straightens, pulls a folded brochure out of the PLUMBER's plumber's crack and exits into the --

BEDROOM OFFICE
Todd sits in a broken non-ergonomically designed office chair and lays open the brochure on a cluttered desk.

TODD
Also been spending quality calculator time figuring out this new health coverage plan that kicks into gear for us January First.  It seems down at the wife's job they're switching to one of those new systems that come with a savings plan.  There's pros and cons to it.  Pro is instead of the $260/month premium bumping to $350 it will be only $120/month, but with that we will have to pay full price for our meds and dish out $5500 before the deductible kicks in to pay the rest.

Todd puts a CD in the computer tower and pushes play on his media player.  Cranks HEAVY ROCK MUSIC to eleven.

TODD
(yells)
What that means is if something ever happens like my leg gets separated from my body in a freak TV watching incident, we will have to fork over 5500 smackeroos up front.

The power suddenly goes off.

PLUMBER (O.S.)
Sorry 'bout that.  Stuck my thingie in the socket again.

TODD
Speaking of sockets, one of mine in my head is rotten.  Went to the dentist yesterday for my semi-annual, made it annual, cleaning and they discovered an old silver filling decayed way back inside... all the way back to Saskatchewan.  Going to take a $500 crown next week to cork that gusher, let me tell ya.

Todd pats the head of his Jeff Gordon Dupont Chevy figurine and gets up from the desk.

TODD
So, besides writing every day I am not up to much.  Having the plumber here got me thinking about this blog thing and how it has been getting boring for me as to what to put in here.  I decided to try and make it more about me, less about the craft, and have fun with it...

Todd points to stacks of published scripts on a utility table next to reams of blank paper, box of pencils, notebook and a Steve Zaillian blow up doll.

TODD
I mean, how many times can you try and tell someone to do something and actually expect them to do it carbon copy?  Screenwriting is all about being original and unique if you want your round head to pop out amongst a sea of coneheads.  Me telling you how to write would be like you having sex and I tell you what feels good.  Each person is different, none are wrong...
(points at blog roll)
Except for that guy with his weird sheep documentaries, but you know what I mean?  By this stage we all know how to start with FADE IN and INT. or EXT. and you don't need to listen to me tell you what to put after them, or quote the technical gurus as to that they think you should put after them...

Todd grins and points his big toe at the computer monitor.

TODD
Because I have all you kooks for that.  I just want to wear rock and roll pajamas and flip-flops all day, write and read what you have to say.

FADE OUT